Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
