I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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