my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize