Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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