I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
