Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
