I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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