Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize