we have pet lesbian snakes
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
