I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
