"it" just moved
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
