I'm so fucking centered right now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize