Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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