Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
