I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
