time to smoke my breakfast
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
