Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
