"it" just moved
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
