yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
