yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
