It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize