We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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