If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
