Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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