im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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