Banned from zoo.
Again?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
