how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
