Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
