There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
