Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
