please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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