Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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