i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dick very happy bro
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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