she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
