Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You dont lie about slip and slides
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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