Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
