i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
