what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
