Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she told me i tasted like america
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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