So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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