3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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