What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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