hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I CAN MOONWALK!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
