need another drink. this is the easiest way
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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