I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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