How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
