playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
