Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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