It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
