Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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