32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
