i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
