I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
