If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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