I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
