He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
