dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im holly from the hills drunk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
