Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
