i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
