then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
