he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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