Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
