Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
