I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
