You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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