I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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