No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
