No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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