Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
