drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize