Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
